Sun., September 7th. As soon as my bodily weakness would permit, I returned to my old hours of retirement; but with fear, and earnest prayer that I might not rest in my own works or endeavours. Mr. Cary's Curate informed us, that Mr. Cary had ordered him to repel my brother and me from the sacrament.
Wed., September 10th. It rained all day, but cleared up when I went to the bands. A few words I spoke in great weakness; and they seemed not spoken in vain.
Mon., September 15th. I passed two or three days at Mr. Arthur's, in Kingswood, and, by the blessing of God, recovered the use of my understanding, which was so clouded, that I could neither read nor think.
Thur., September 18th. Out of weakness I was made strong to preach at the room to-night; not for a quarter of an hour, as I proposed, but for an hour and an half.
Fri., September 19th. "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength." So I found it this morning, both in soul and body. At night I was enabled to preach Anne Hodges's funeral sermon.
Mon., September 22d. I was setting out for the Downs, when one asked me to ride out toward Mr. Willis's. At the end of the town I was informed the colliers were risen. Above one thousand of them I met at Lawrence-hill They came about me, and saluted me very affectionately, not having seen me since my sickness. The occasion of their rising, they told me, was the dearness of corn. I got to an eminence, and began speaking to them. Many seemed inclined to go back with me to the school; but the devil stirred up his oldest servants, who violently rushed upon the others, beating, and tearing, and driving them away from me. I rode up to a ruffian who was striking one of our colliers, and prayed him rather to strike me. He would not, he said, for all the world; and was quite overcome. I turned upon one who struck my horse, and he also sank into a lamb. Wherever I turned, Satan lost ground; so that he was obliged to make one general assault, and, by the few violent colliers, forced on the quiet ones into the town.
I seized on one of the tallest, and earnestly besought him to follow me: that he would, he said, all the world over. About six more I pressed into Christ's service. We met several parties; stopped and exhorted them to join us. We gleaned a few from every company, and grew as we marched along singing to the school. From one till three we spent in prayer that evil might be prevented, and the lion chained. Then news was brought us that the colliers were returned in peace. They had quietly walked into the city, without sticks, or the least violence. A few of the better sort went to the Mayor, and told their grievance: then they all returned as they came, without noise or disturbance. All who saw were amazed; for the leopards were laid down. Nothing could have more shown the change wrought ill them than this rising.
I found afterwards that all our colliers to a man had been forced in it. Having learned of Christ not to resist evil, they went a mile with those that compelled them rather than free themselves by violence. One the rioters dragged out of his sick-bed, and threw him into the Fishponds: near twenty of Mr. Willis's men they got by threatening to fill up their pits, and bury them alive, if they did not come up and bear them company.
Tues., September 23d. Mr. W. Seward came, and was very cordial. We prayed, rejoiced, and gave thanks. If I did not love him the better for his opinion, I am sure it made me more industrious to confirm my old love towards him.
I carried him to Mr. Wane's, and then to our colliers; before whom I set the things they would have done in the late rising, had not grace restrained them. One poor man declared, when they forced him away, he would much more willingly have gone to the gallows.
Mr. Seward spoke a few words to them, which did not convince me of his call to preach. In our return, he told me Mrs. Grevil and others had urged him to claim the room in the Horse-fair; but he abhorred their baseness.
Wed., September 24th. He told me he was in a mist; the Baptists last night having laboured hard to make him oppose me publicly. Before we parted, all was set right again. Yet a few hours after, he came from them, and utterly renounced both me and my brother, in bitter words of hatred, which they had put in his mouth. I pray God lay not this sin to their charge, neither all the weakness of word and action which ensued for the following days.
God endues my soul and body also with much strength. This day he has comforted me on every side. To Him be all the glory.
Fri., September 26th. I was greatly assisted in the evening to preach the Christian perfection, that is, utter dominion over sin; constant peace, and love, and joy in the Holy Ghost; the full assurance of faith, righteousness, and true holiness. I see more and more into the height of our privileges, and that God will give them to me.
Sun., September 28th. At the sacrament I received power to believe sin shall not have dominion over me. I reached many hearts in expounding blind Bartimeus. Our love-feast was such as deserved the name. We all rejoiced in hope of the glory of God.
Mon., September 29th. God was wonderfully with our assembly, and opened my eyes to see the promise of holiness, or perfection, not in some, but in almost every, scripture.
Thur., October 2d. I rejoiced to hear that M. Puruell was on Sunday morning, under the word, taken into the very borders of Canaan. The patient abiding of the meek shall not perish for ever.
Sun., October 5th. I offered myself at the sacrament, and was not refused, though Mr. Cary himself administered. I received it with comfort.
Mon., October 6th. I prayed by Margaret Thomas. At my first visit, she hoped her sins were forgiven. Now she more than hoped it, having received the faith which works by love, and filial fear of offending.
I met the Leaders; and endeavoured to humble one who begins to grow rich, not by denying what God has done for his soul, but by showing him he could no more trust to his graces than his works, but must still come to Christ as a poor sinner that has need of all things.
Wed., October 8th. I took down the case of Catherine Hyfield. She was charged with robbing her master (one Townsend) of f800; whose dying wife my brother had visited. Alderman Day, &c., threatened to put her in irons, &c., if she would not confess she had given the money to my brother. When no proof could be brought against her, they were forced to discharge her: and soon after, her master found the money where himself had lodged it.
Thur., October 9th. I was much revived by the sight of Margaret Thomas, dying in the highest triumph of faith. I could not help asking,
"Is this the soul so late weigh'd down By cares and sins, by griefs and pains Whither are all thy terrors gone Jesus for thee the victory gains, And death, and sin, and Satan yield to faith's unconquerable shield."
Her hope was now full of immortality. She had no desire of life or death, or ease in her great pain. God had finished his work; and her will was quite swallowed up in his. This is that holiness without which no one shall see the Lord.
Fri., October 10th. I prayed by Mrs. Purnell, who patiently waits for the seal of her pardon. At night I spoke strongly to the unawakened; and, behold, a cry ! but such as became poor lost sinners. Great was the stirring among the dry bones.
Sun., October 12th. From Isal. lxiv. I was assisted to stir up those who had settled upon their lees, since they were justified. I visited Margaret, now at the haven where she would be, and only waiting the word, "Come up hither!" Her spirit helped me wonderfully in prayer.
She told me, she had been heard in my behalf, and God would give me an humble heart.
Mon., October 13th. I breakfasted and gave an exhortation to some of our friends. One seemed so deeply affected, that her outcries much interrupted me. I took no notice of her, seeing she could not help it; only said at last, "I do not think the better of you for this;" and immediately her trouble was over, and she hushed and unconcerned as before.
Wed., October l4th. At the intercession, our casting down was in the midst of us. O that I was always as I am sometimes! But a fit or start of humility is not to be depended on.
Thur., October 16th. I rejoiced in an opportunity of heaping coals of fire upon the head of an enemy. Poor Mitchel, arrested by Charles Martin, sent me first a reproaching, and then a begging, letter. I paid his debt, and won him at a very moderate price.
Fri., October 17th. I prayed by Mrs. Purnell, near death. She had no fear, and no assurance of pardon; but believed she should know her sins forgiven before she went hence. I called again at noon; and then the Lord had showed her his salvation, and she could confidently testify, "God for Christ's sake hath forgiven me."
Sun., October 19th. I called on a dying man, who told me he hoped to be saved through Christ, because he was one of the worst of sinners. "If that be your plea," said I, "you must be damned without all remedy." I proceeded to set before him the spirituality of the law, and the terrors of the Lord. He fought hard against God, often repeating the words of his predecessor, "I am not like other men," reproaching my Master, not me, and refusing to humble himself under the mighty hand of God. He told me he never desired to see me more; yet, when I offered to go, he desired me to pray by him. I did, in faith, that God might open his eyes to see himself the chief of sinners. He begged me to call again.
I gave the sacrament to Mrs. Purnell; who, after receiving the cup, cried, "It is!" I visited her once more in her last conflict; yet, even then, by plain signs expressing her confidence. She held out till Wednesday morning, October 22d; and then departed to the church triumphant.
I met the Leaders, and removed one, (J. W--k,) who was much lifted up, but lay concealed from herself by a voluntary humility. She cheerfully resigned an office which she owned herself so unfit for; yet, afterwards, I heard, complained, with many tears, that I should think ill of her from the report of others. The next day she was taken with a fit of humility, and bade a sister go and tell it me. "Anybody now," she said, "might trample upon me: do you: pray trample upon me; but tell Mr. Wesley." Verily, "the heart is deceitful above all things. Who can know it"
Thur., October 23d. I met several of the bands at the house of our departed sister Purnell, and solemnly rejoiced over her, with singing. I walked with the funeral as far as the church; then hastened back to the room, where lay the corpse of Margaret. Her spirit was, with the other's, returned to God. A wonderful power accompanied the word preached, 1 Cot. xv. O what triumph did we find in the house of mourning! Many strangers were convinced. The Society attended her to the grave, and praised God with joyful lips for her translation.
Fri., October 24th. I was greatly enlarged in enforcing that promise, "The Lord knoweth how to deliver out of temptation." I showed them the only infallible way to conquer sin, namely, "Sin shall not have dominion over me, because I believe in Jesus Christ that it shall not." A poor drunkard believed, and had a witness that he shall no more turn back to his own wickedness.
Sun., October 26th. I heard Mr. Tucker's (not railing)accusation against the Methodists, "that they went contrary to custom; did not catechise their children; did not reform men in the regular way." He told us farther, what Mr. Whitefield would say when he returned from Georgia; and concluded with an excellent quotation out of Mr. Law. I offered my assistance at the sacrament, which he civilly declined.
Mon., October 27th. I met a young gentlewoman who was never under the word till the night of our triumphant funeral. Then it laid hold on her heart: yet I could not persuade her to expect the promise, till she had endeavoured, and mourned, and waited longer.
In the evening I set the terrors of the Lord in array against sinners, and an horrible dread overwhelmed some of them. May the law be their schoolmaster to bring them to Christ.
Tues., October 28th. I was exceedingly shocked with the news of Mr. Seward's death: but he is taken from the evil; rescued out of the hands of wicked men. Calling on the Pharisee whom I had visited last week, I found him dead; but at the last hour he had cried unto Jesus, as a poor, undone sinner, who was like other men.
I was led in the evening to preach universal redemption from those words, "The Lord is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." The Spirit mightily confirmed that irresistible truth. I then spoke with unfeigned concern of our dear departed brother; and with just abhorrence of those unhappy bigots, whose headlong zeal had robbed us of him. We sang a funeral hymn over him, and were comforted in the hope of soon meeting him again, where no sower of tares, no reprobating Pharisee, shall ever part us more.
Fri., October 31st. The time for my going to Wales is now come. To-day Captain Philips challenged me; said he came to fetch me; and Mr. Wells invited me to preach in his churches.
I passed an hour with two very wise Quakers, who were for inverting the order of God, and making Christ our sanctification before he is our righteousness. The true Light, I trust, will one day teach them better.
Tues., November 4th. At Kingswood Mr. Cennick showed me a letter from Howel Harris, wherein he justified poor Mr. Seward, and talked of declaring against us himself. With the loss of him and all things, I am commanded to preach the Gospel to every creature. I did so to the colliers, from Titus ii. 11; and was carried out more than ever before, till all were drowned in tears of love.
While I was testifying Christ died for all, Mr. Cenniek, in the hearing of many, gave me the lie. I calmly told him afterwards, "If I speak not the truth as it is in Jesus, may I decrease, and you increase."
Thur., November 6th. At six I took boat for Cardiff, and at six in the evening landed on Welsh ground with the voice of praise and thanksgiving. Mr. Wells, who invited me over, waited to give me the first greeting. From his house we went to the Society, where God opened my mouth to call, "Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters." They received the word with all readiness.
I lodged at Mr. Glascot's.
Fri., November 7th. I rode with Mr. Williams to St. Andrew's, a little town four Welsh miles from Cardiff. Mr. Wells was not afraid to trust me in his pulpit. I was greatly assisted to invite many poor sinners to come weary and heavy laden to Christ. They gladly received my saying. Mr. Hodges desired me to preach next Tuesday in his church at Wenvo. I returned to Cardiff rejoicing; and expounded I John i., to the conviction, I hope, of many.
Sat., November 8th. I had an opportunity to moderate the spirits of some who were greatly exasperated against Howel Harris, for preaching predestination among them. After church I waited with Mr. Wells on the sick Minister; who was extremely civil, invited me to dinner, and to preach in his pulpit morning and evening. I spent the day in singing and close conference, with some who would fain persuade themselves they had faith, without forgiveness. My Master, I trust, will soon persuade them that they have both together.
Sun., November 9th. At six I explained the legal state, from Rom. vii. I read prayers, and preached to a large congregation, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." I administered the sacrament to many strangers. I read prayers in the afternoon, baptized a child, and preached both law and Gospel with great plainness. My hearers were surprisingly patient. Only one went out. I continued my discourse till it was dark; and had much comfort in having delivered my message.
The scripture to be expounded at night was, 1 John ii.: "If any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father," &c. God opened my mouth to declare the truth of his everlasting love to all mankind. At the same time he enlarged my heart to its opposers. I took the occasion to speak of Howel Harris; bore such a testimony of him as he deserves; and mildly upbraided them for their ingratitude toward the greatest benefactor their country ever had. We all expressed our love by joining in hearty prayer for him.
Mon., November 10th. I set out for St. Nicholas; called at Llandaff on the then officiating Minister, to ask the pulpit. He referred me to the Chapter; but I do not mean to trouble them. The church at St. Nicholas, also, was shut against me; but we met at a neighbouring house, Mr. Deer's, where I offered Christ to all sinners, with much freedom and power.
At Cardiff I spoke a word in season to one (Sus. Young) who was puffed up, and boasted of her graces, and took upon her to teach others. l told her she had deceived her own soul, and brought a scandal on religion. She flew out into self-justification: God knew her heart, would not quench the smoking flax, &c. But I cut her short, and, with six plain words, God accompanying them with his power, struck her down into the deep. She cried out, "I am damned, I am damned," and was stripped of all, as in one moment.
I sent a messenger to Howel Harris, with the following letter: "My dearest Friend and Brother,--In the name of Jesus Christ I beseech you, if you have his glory and the good of souls at heart, come immediately, and meet me here. I trust we shall never be two in time or eternity. O my brother, I am grieved that Satan should get a moment's advantage over us; and am ready to lay my neck under your feet for Christ's sake. If your heart is as my heart, hasten, in the name of our dear Lord, to your second self,
"CWESLEY." Tues., November 11th. The church at Wenvo was full as it could hold, while I preached the Gospel from the good Samaritan. All were visibly affected. I went to Mr. Hodges; took sweet counsel with him and Mr. Wells. The former, at parting, in great simplicity desired my prayers and a kiss.
Wed., November 12th. In Lanissan church I preached on, "Repent, and believe the Gospel." Our Lord was never more with me than at this time. I concluded with earnest prayer for the Curate. I dined at Mr. Wells's with several of the brethren, and Mr. Thomas, a neighbouring Curate of great simplicity, who preaches not himself, but Christ Jesus the Lord.
Thur., November 13th. I went with reluctance to the prisoners, almost despairing to do any good, when I received faith to believe Christ would be with me. I looked up to him; and never preached the Gospel with greater freedom. Two women fell down as dead. The infection ran through us all, and we felt that the Gospel was indeed the power of God.
The three Ministers, Mr. Wells, Hodges, and Thomas, made part of my evening congregation; to whom I showed in strong words the blessedness of persecution.
Fri., November 14th. I rode with Mr. Hodges to Micelston-Lepil. He read prayers: I preached Christ from, "Who is this that cometh from Edom with dyed garments." &c. He was evidently set forth before our eyes as crucified. I rode back in the spirit of triumph. I heard the players had sent me a challenge; that is, a ticket and invitation to their play. Suffice for the time past. I now serve another Master.
Sat., November 15th. At Mr. Price's, in Watford, I preached "Christ our wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption ;" and again at five with double power. An Arian Minister of our own Church, and a Baptist teacher, were present. The latter could not allow either justification or sanctification necessary to salvation.
Sun., November 16th. Mr. Williams informed me that many had bound themselves with a curse to make a disturbance in the church, and not suffer me to preach. Then the Clerk told me I as not to preach in the afternoon. I answered, I had not expected to preach there in the morning, or, indeed, a second time.
The Psalms began, "O God, the Heathen are come into thine inheritance; thy holy temple have they defiled."
The Second Lesson was very animating, being John viii.; that earnest contention of our Lord with the Pharisees.
My text was, "If God be for us, who can be against us" I began abruptly with the opposers, and defied them in the name of the Lord Jesus. The Spirit of power was with me; but I soon perceived him as the Spirit of love; and Besought those unhappy sinners to be reconciled unto God. Their master durst not hazard their staying any longer; but, in the midst of my discourse, hurried them out of church.
I went on convincing and entreating the Pharisees to submit to the righteousness of God. Never was my mouth and heart more enlarged. Upon my repeating, "It pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save all them that believe," a gentleman rose, and turned his back on the Gospel of his salvation. I called after him in vain; then earnestly prayed for him and the rest, the Spirit helping my infirmity.
I read prayers in the afternoon. Many hungry souls were disappointed through my not preaching. I sent them to the Society. Several players were present, but quickly fled before the sword of the Spirit. When we were departing, Mr. Wells stopped us to hear his unexpected apology for me. He strongly enforced the truths I had delivered; and, with great humility, asked me to set him right, if he had spoken ought contrary to sound doctrine.
Mon., November 17th. Again my mouth was opened to preach the law and the Gospel at Llantrissent. Mr. Harris, the Minister, was exceeding civil. He had been dealt with to refuse me the pulpit, but would not Break his word.
Tues., November 18th. I preached at St. Bride's, "Thou shalt call his name Jesus," &c. Here, too, I east my net to catch the fisher. We were setting out from the public-house when God brought Howel Harris to us. All misunderstandings vanished at sight of each other, and our hearts were knit together as at the beginning. We sang an hymn of triumph. God had prepared his heart for this meeting. At the sacrament he had found the spirit of martyrdom falling upon him, and immediately I was brought to his remembrance. His heart overflowed with love, and he thought we were going hand in hand to the stake.
Before the Society, several were with me, desiring me, now I had gotten him, to reprove him openly. Some wanted me to preach against lay-preaching; some against predestination, &e. In my discourse on Isai. xl., a gentleman, who had come thither on purpose, interrupted me, by desiring I would now speak to Mr. Harris, since I was sent for to disprove his errors, and Mr. Wells, an experienced Clergyman, sat by to moderate between us. God gave me immediate recollection. I smiled at Satan's impudence; but turned aside the question with mildness, and thanks to the proposer. In vain he urged me to enter the lists with my friend. I quashed all farther importunity by declaring, "I am unwilling to speak of my brother Howel Harris, because, when I begin, I know not how to leave off; and should say so much good of him, as some of you could not bear." The gentleman, disappointed of his hope, immediately departed.
After this victory over Satan, I proceeded with double power, addressing myself particularly to the ladies, whose company we were favoured with because there was no play to-night, I showed them they were no better than common harlots, if they outwardly differed from them through pride, not virtue. The Lord open their hearts to receive my hard saying.
The Captain giving me notice that he should sail the next day, I determined to spend the night in taking leave. We supped at the friendly Mr. Wells's, and then called at Captain Philips's. Between ten and eleven, just as I was going, Satan began to show his wrath at the many sore disappointments he has met with this very day. He could not set the children of God against each other, and was therefore forced to make use of his own. The Physician, who had gone out of church on Sunday, stirred up by his companions, and unusually heated with wine, came and demanded satisfaction of me for calling him Pharisee. I said, "I was ready to acknowledge my mistake, if he would assure me he had gone out of church to visit his patients." He replied, "He had gone out because he disliked my discourse." "Then, Sir," said I, "I cannot ask pardon for telling you the truth." "But you must for calling me a Pharisee." "I still insist you are a Pharisee, and cannot endure sound doctrine. My commission is, to show you your sins; and I shall make no apology for so doing, to you or any man living. You are a damned sinner by nature, and a Pharisee, like me: and this testimony I should bear before rulers and Kings. You are a rebel against God, and must bow your stiff neck to Him before you can be forgiven." "How do you know my heart]" "My heart showeth me the wickedness of the ungodly." "Sir, I am as good a Christian as yourself." "You are no Christian at all, unless you have received the Holy Ghost." "How do you prove that you have the Holy Ghost"
"By searching your heart, and showing you that you are a Pharisee." Here he lifted up his cane, and struck me. Mrs. Philips intercepted and broke the blow; F. Farley tripped up his heels; and the company rushed in between. My soul was immediately filled with the calm, recollected boldness of faith. There was a great outcry among the women. Several of them he struck, and hurt, and raged like one possessed, till the men forced him out, and shut the door.
Soon after, it was broken open by a Justice, and the Bailiff, or head-Magistrate. The latter began expostulating with me upon the affront offered the Doctor; and said, "As it was a public injury, I ought to make him public satisfaction." I answered," Mr. Bailiff, I honour you for your office' sake; but was you yourself, or His Majesty King George, among my hearers, I should tell you both that you are by nature damned sinners. In the church, while preaching, I have no superior but God; and shall not ask man leave to show him his sins.--As a ruler, it is your duty to be a terror to evil-doers, but a praise to them that do well." Upon my thus speaking, he became exceeding civil; assured me of his good-will, and that he had come to prevent my being insulted; and none should touch an hair of my head.
While we were talking, the Doctor made another attempt to break in, and get at me; but the two ,Justices and others with much trouble at last got him out. They went; and we continued our triumph in the name of the Lord our God. The shout of a King was among us. We sang on unconcerned, though those sons of Belial, the players, had beset the house. They were armed, and threatened to burn the house. The ground of their quarrel with me is, that the Gospel has starved them. We prayed and sang with great tranquillity till one in the morning. Then I lay down till three; rose again; and was scarce got into the room, when they discovered a player just by me, who had stole in unobserved. They seized him, and F. Farley wrested the sword from him. There was no need of drawing it, for the point and blade were stripped an hand-breadth of the scabbard.
When the sword was brought in, the spirit of faith was kindled among us, at sight of the danger. Great was our rejoicing within, and the uproar of the players without, who strove to force their way after their companion. My female advisers were by no means for my venturing out, but deferring my journey. I preferred Mr. Wells's advice of going with him, through the midst of our enemies. I called in on the poor creature they had secured. They talked of warrants, prosecutions, &c. On sight of me he cried, "Indeed, Mr. Wesley, I did not intend to do you any harm." "That," I answered, "was best known to God, and his own heart: but my principle was, to return good for evil; wherefore I desired he might be released;" assured him of my good wishes, and with Mr. Wells walked peaceably to the water-side, no man forbidding me. Our friends stood on the shore, while we joined in hearty thanksgiving. The fierceness of men shall turn to thy praise, and the fierceness of them shalt thou restrain.
Wed., November 19th. Between five and six we were forced to return for want of water. I found Howel Harris and the flock still at Captain Philips's, and was strengthened to lay open the promise of sanctification. (Ezek. xxxvi.) I took leave of my dear Howel; and with Mr. Wells waited upon the Bailiff; acknowledged his last night's civilities; and left him, as a trophy, the player's sword. In public prayer, Mr. Wells returned thanks to God for our late deliverance.
At two I took my leave of the Society, and preached the pure Gospel from the woman of Canaan. A spirit of love constrained me to beseech them, with tears, to receive Christ Jesus. It ran through all. Some of the greatest opposers wept, especially a young lady, for whose entertainment the players had acted me, sang, and prayed, and trembled exceedingly. The word was as a fire that melteth the rocks. I saw why God had brought me back. Our parting was such as it ought to be.
About four, Mr. Wells, &c., attended me to the vessel. I laid me down, and slept, and took my rest; for it is thou, Lord, only, that makest me dwell in safety.
Thur., November 20th. By five this morning, He who blest our going out, blest our coming in to Bristol. I found my brother at the room, expounding Rom. ix. I confirmed his saying, and gave some account of my success in Wales. A great power accompanied the word, and I prayed in the Spirit. I joined with him in administering the sacrament to a young woman I had baptized, but who had not kept her garments unspotted. Yet God healed her backslidings, and soon after she confidently resigned her spirit into the hands of Jesus.
Fri., November 21st. My brother returned to London.
Sun., November 23d. I was very dead in delivering it, yet the word was mixed with faith in some that heard it, as they afterwards testified.
Thur., November 27th. At the Malt-house, the spirit of love and supplication fell upon me. I was filled with the tenderest concern for the desolate Church of England; which I could not help expressing before the congregation in tears, and strong cries to God for her.
Sun., November 30th. I gave the sacrament to our sister Taylor, dying in triumph. Here is another witness to the truth of our Gospel. Commend me to a religion upon which I can trust my soul, while entering into eternity.
I expounded the lesson at Kingswood. It was Hebrews vi. I prayed Christ our Teacher to enlighten the people and me; and began my discourse with fear and trembling.
The Spirit gave me utterance. I calmly warned them against apostasy, and spake with great tenderness and caution. But who can stand before envy and bigotry The strong ones were offended. The poison of Calvin has drunk up their spirit of love. Anne Ayling and Anne Davis could not refrain from railing. John Cennick never offered to stop them. Alas! we have set the wolf to keep the sheep! God gave me great moderation toward him, who, for many months, has been undermining our doctrine and authority.
Mon., December lst. I passed two hours at M. Parsons's funeral, and looked with envy on the corpse in the coffin. Her soul, before it left the body, was sweetly and fully conscious of its reconciliation with God. The word has been a saviour of life to her also.
While I was showing the universality of Christ's redemption, the flame was kindled all around, and the Holy Ghost bore witness with many consciences.
Tues., December 2d. I had a conference in Kingswood with Mr. Cennick and his friends, but could come to no agreement, though I offered entirely to drop the controversy if he would.
I preached on the three-fold office of Christ, but never with greater power. It constrained even the separatists to own that God was with us of a truth. I rode back in a glorious storm of thunder, lightning, and rain. My spirit rejoiced in hope of the glory of God.
He opened my mouth again at the Society; and I spoke in much grief and love of our desolate mother the Church of England. My heart yearns towards her when I think upon her ruins, and it pitieth me to see her in the dust.
Thur., December 4th. I administered the sacrament to Mr. Page, against hope believing in hope. After receiving, he had power to believe his sins forgiven.
Fri., December 5th. I was much refreshed in spirit among some of my friends, the Quakers, by a writer of theirs, who strongly insists on the perfect death unto sin, and life unto righteousness, which every Christian experiences. Death must precede life, and condemnation justification. This he as clearly teaches, as any of our first Reformers.
Sat., December 6th. I wrote my brother a full account of the predestinarian party, their practices and designs, particularly "to have a church within themselves, and to give themselves the sacrament in bread and water."
Sun., December 21st. I took my leave of the colliers in the words of the great Apostle, (without comparing myself to him,) "And now, Brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace." The loving spirit was mightily among us, and more still at our love-feast, for all the brethren of Kingswood and Bristol.
Mon., December 22d. I showed, with demonstration of the Spirit, the (ordinary) necessity of our being bruised and broken before the Comforter would abide in us for ever. He who saith, "My work is before me," set to his seal.
Wed., December 24th. At five I set out for London, which I reached, with Thomas Maxfield, the next day by five in the afternoon. At six God renewed my strength to preach the glad tidings to a crowded audience at the Foundery. Great was our joy in the Lord, and in each other.
Fri., December 26th. I rose at five, without feeling my journey, and expounded Isai xl. 9: "O Zion, that bringest good tidings, get thee up into the high mountain," &c. He spake comfortably to his people by my mouth, though I am nothing.
I talked with one, who has entirely stopped the work of God in her own soul, by judging of it in others.
A spirit of contrition fell upon me the moment I entered the Society-room. We made supplication for all men, especially the household of faith, and that small part of it at Bristol.
Sat., December 27th. From eleven to one I met five or six hundred, to praise God with the voice of joy and thanksgiving. He hath done great things for us already, but we shall see greater things than these. I dined at a Dissenter's, armed cap-a-pie with her faith of adherence, brim full of the five points, and going on to the perfection of Rom. vii.
At Mr. Craven's, a man abruptly accosted me, "Are you ready to receive my message." "Yes," I answered, "if you speak not of yourself." "I speak to you from God."
"Where are your credentials What proof show you of your divine commission" "Nay, nay," said he, "if you cannot receive my saying, I have nothing to do with you.
I have delivered my own soul." With these he flung away, and left his prophecy imperfect.
Sun., December 28th. In the evening the scoffers were very outrageous. God filled my mouth with threatenings and promises. I defied and invited them by turns, till he got himself the victory; and I freely published the glad tidings, "To us a son is born, to us a child is given."
I earnestly warned the bands not to fancy they had new hearts before they had seen the deceitfulness of the old; not to think they would ever be above the necessity of praying; not to yield for one moment to the spirit of judging.
Among my visitants this morning I had a very ingenious person, who generously proffered to teach me the grand arcanum for the value of five shillings. Having no need of money, I declined his proffer; but gave him sixpence, and told him, as he had the art of transmutation, it was the same as if I had given him half a guinea. We had more serious talk before parting: how to change an heart of stone into an heart of flesh.
Tues., December 30th. I exhorted the Society at Deptford with convincing power. A woman fell down under it.
Wed., December 31st. I found the Spirit of prayer among the bands in London, and strongly exhorted them to humility.