Sat., September 4th. Appee laid a train for the Captain, and betrayed him into talking lewdly; for which I reproved him too sharply, and thereby increased his bedsfitness. He abused me plentifully, till I ceased to take any notice of him. In the evening he set upon me again; but I turned from him, and talked Latin to Zouberbuhler. This made him more outrageous. He blew out the candle by which I was writing. Zouberbuhler lit it; and he blew it out again: on which we all set upon him; I only talking Latin or Greek. He told me I was drunk, mad, an emissary, a Jesuit, a devil; but could not get one English word from me. The gentlemen, particularly Appee, baited him to his heart's content; and having laughed upon the stretch till near midnight, we then suffered the poor beast to return to his litter. The next day we said neither good nor bad to him; but he was not continent of speech. His indignation was mostly vented upon me, "the arch-rebel," as he called me, for my "audacious talk." In the evening he again put out Zouberbuhler's candle; upon which Appee pulled out his spieket of the rum, and let it run about the cabin. This was the cruellest Punishment ['that] could have been devised; and farther heightened by our mirth at his inimitable resentment. Zouberbuhler lighted up the candle in his own cabin every now and then, bringing it into the great cabin; and when the Captain (whose motions were not of the nimblest) had come out of bed to put it out, Zouberbuhler carried it back again. He called down his men ten times, ordering them to bind us in our beds, to our and their no small diversion. He offered to get at the candle in Zouberbuhler's cabin; but the Swiss stood centinel at his cabin-door, and then he might as well have wrenched a bone from Cerberus. The Captain gave it over, as impossible, drank a hearty dram, and dropped asleep.
Wed., September 15th. This is the first time I have heard a sailor confess it was a storm. We lay under our mainsail, and let the ship drive, being by conjecture about sixty leagues from Boston, upon George's Bank; though, as we hoped, past the shoals in it. The Captain never troubled himself about anything; but lay snoring even in such a night as the last, though frequently called, without ever stirring, either for squalls, or soundings, or shoals.
In the afternoon the Mate came down, having sounded, and found forty, and soon after twenty, fathom; told the Captain he apprehended coming into shoaler water still; and therefore it would be necessary to reef the foresail and mainsail in readiness, that in case we fell foul of the shoals, (being upon George's Bank, and in a storm,) the ship might have head-way, to get clear again. This the Captain absolutely refused; and, though told it could do no possible harm, and might be the saving of the ship and us, persisted in his obstinacy; so that the Mate left him to sleep, and the ship to take care of itself. But it pleased God to abate the storm, and on Thursday, about twelve, entirely to remove it.
Mon., September 20th. At seven, Mr. Graham, the first Mate, came to ask for directions, as he constantly does, and the Captain as constantly shifting him off, and leaving the whole management of the ship to him, or chance, or any body. The conversation being somewhat remarkable, I took it down in short-hand, as they were speaking it.
MATE-- Captain Indivine, what would you have us do What course would you have us to steer to-night"
CAPTAIN.--" Even what course you will. We have a fair wind."
M.--" Yes, Sir; and it drives us full upon the land, which cannot be many leagues off"
C.--" Then I think you had best keep forward."
M.--" Would you have us go on all night, and venture running upon the land "
C.--" I don't know. Go on."
M.--" But there are shoals and rocks before us."
C.--" Why, then, have a good look-out."
M.~" But you cannot see twice the ship's length. What would you order me to do"
C.--" These rebels and emissaries have excited you to come and ask for orders. I don't know what you mean."
M.--" Sir, nobody has excited me. I come, as it is my duty, to my Captain for directions."
C.--" Have you a mind to quarrel with me"
M.--" I have a mind to know what you will do."
C.--" Nay, what will you do, if it come to that,"
M.--" Am I your Captain or you mine"
C.--" I am your Captain, and will make you know it, Mr. Man. Do what I order you; for you must and shall."
M.--" Why, Sir, you order me nothing."
C.--" You would not have me come upon deck myself, sure."
M.--" If you did, I should not think it would be much amiss. Some Captains would not have stirred off deck a moment in such a night as this. Here you lie, without so much as ever once looking out, to see how things are."
C.--" Yes, I have been upon deck this very day."
M.--" But you have taken no account of anything, or given yourself the least trouble about the ship, for many days past."
C.--" It is all one for that. I know where we are exactly."
M.--" How far do you think we may be from land"
C.--" Why, just thirty-five leagues. I am sure of it."
M.--" How is that possible ~ You have taken no observation this 'fortnight; nor have we got one these four days."
C.--" No matter for that. I know we are safe."
M.--" The most skilful sailor alive cannot know it. Be pleased only to declare what you would have done. Shall we sail on Shall we lay by Shall we alter our course Shall we stand in and off" He went on repeating such questions again sad again; but as to giving an answer, the Captain chose to be excused; till the Mate, quite out of patience, having waited an hour to no purpose, left him; and the Captain concluded all with, "Jack, give me a dram !"
Tues., September 21st. The sailors, who were upon' deck all night, saw three large ships coming, as they supposed, out of the bay; but in vain attempted to speak with them. At three I was waked by a cry of" Land!" The Mate said we were just upon it; for he saw the light of the watch-house; and if they did not tack about immediately, they would be upon the rocks, which lay just before them under the water. At the same time it blew a storm. The uproar was so great, that it even waked the Captain, who started up, ran to his rum, drank a hearty draught, and then looked upon deck; but not much liking things there, came down again immediately, cried, "Ay, ay; all will be well ;" and dropped asleep again.
Wed., September 22d. Having sailed for some hours without discovering land, we began to think the light whichthe Mate had seen was of some ship, and not the lighthouse. At two we made land; which the men soon found to be Cape Cod, about eighteen leagues from Boston. The wind blew from shore, yet we kept our course. At midnight the storm gave place to a calm. These have constantly succeeded each other since our leaving Charlestown.
Thur., September 23d. The fineness of the weather invited even Mr. Appee upon deck, who usually disposes of twenty-three of the twenty-four hours in bed. His vanity betrayed him into farther discoveries of himself. He laboured to show me the only difference between us lay in externals, through the difference of our education. I had the same views that he had, but was forced by the restraints of a narrower education to dissemble those inclinations which he had given a loose to. The case was the same with my brother: a much better hypocrite, he said, than me; and who would have made an excellent Jesuit. But Mr. Oglethorpe understood him, though for his own convenience he would not seem to do so.
Upon my asking him how he accounted for the great pains my brother had taken with him, he readily answered, That was all grimace. My brother could not but be mightily pleased with the reputation such a convert would gain to his sanctity, which had charms to win over so wild a young gentleman, of his parts. But how could you bear him so long, if you had no esteem for him, or regard to his advice "Why, it was so new a gratification to me to be thought religious, that I found no difficulty in keeping on the mask: and I had got such a knack of going to prayers and sacrament, that I don't know but I should have been actually caught at last."
Fri., September 24th. Being within sight of the lighthouse, at nine in the morning, the pilot came on board us. At two I gladly obeyed his hasty summons, and went into his boat with the other passengers, bidding an hearty farewell to our wretched ship, and more wretched Captain, who for the two last days had, most happily for us, lain dead drunk on the floor, without sense or motion.
I was at leisure now to contemplate a prospect entirely new, and beautiful beyond all I had ever seen. We sailed smoothly on, in a vast bason, as it seemed, bounded on all sides with small innumerable islands. Some of these were entire rock, in height and colour not unlike Dover cliffs: others steep, and covered with woods. Here and there lay a round hill, entirely clothed with green; and all at such equal distances, that the passages seemed artificially made, to admit the narrow streams between.
Having passed one of these passages, we were presented With a new set of hills, and rocks, and woods, in endless variety; till we came to the castle, three miles from Boston. From thence we had a full view of the town, stretched out a mile and a half upon the shore, in a semicircle. We landed at Long Wharf, which we walked straight up, having a row of houses on one side, and near two hundred sail of ships on the other. I lodged in a public house; went to bed at eleven. Appee followed me, drunk, between one and two in the morning.
Sat., September 25th. I called several times at Mr. Price, the Commissary's, before I found him at home. At first he looked as not believing me to be a Clergyman (my ship-clothes not being the best credentials). But when I returned in my habit, (Dr. Cutler having met him meantime, and informed him of me,) he received me very cordially, and pressed me to live with him while I stayed in Boston.
Sun., September 26th. I preached in the morning at Dr. Cutler's church, in the afternoon at Mr. Price's, on the one thing needful.
In the evening I first fell into company with Mr. John Chicheley, a right honest zealous advocate for the Church of England, who has, on that account, been cruelly persecuted by the Presbyterians.
Thur., September 30th. In the morning I waited upon the Governor. At noon Mr. Millar, a good-natured Clergyman, visited me. The rest of this and the following day I employed in writing to my friends at Charlestown.
Fri., October l. I wrote to my brother concerning my return to Georgia, which I found myself inclined to refer wholly to God.
Sat., October 2d. I rode out with Mr. Price, in his chaise, to see the country, which is wonderfully delightful.
The only passage out of town is a neck of land about two hundred yards over; all therest being encircled with the sea. The temperate air, the clear rivulets, and the beautiful hills and dales, which we everywhere met with, seemed to present the very reverse of Georgia.
Sun., October 3d. After near two months' want of it, I again enjoyed the benefit of the sacrament, which I assisted Dr. Cutler to administer. I preached on, "There the wicked cease from troubling, and there the weary are at rest:" as I did again in the afternoon for Mr. Price, though I found my strength sensibly abated
Mon., October 4th. I rode with Mr. and Mrs. Price, Dr. Cutler, his son, and Mr. Brig, (two Cambridge scholars,) to see Mr. Millar, at Braintree. At our return we found Mr. Davenport, who was come to see me, a worthy Clergyman, as deserving of the name as any I see in New England.
Tues., October 5th. I dined at Mr. Plasted's, a London acquaintance of my brother's; who from thence took occasion to find me out, and showed me all the friendship and civility he could, while I stayed in Boston. After dinner I drove Mr. Cutler to Cambridge. I had only time to observe the civility of the Fellows, the regularity of the buildings, and pleasantness of the situation.
Sat., October 9th. I was dragged out to consult Dr. Graves about my increasing flux. He prescribed a vomit, from which I received much benefit.
Sun., October 10th. I recovered a little strength in the sacrament; but my body was extremely weakened by preaching twice.
Tues., October 12th. I supped with several of the Clergy, at Mr. Chicheley's, who entertained us very agreeably with his adventures. He seems to have excellent natural parts, much solid learning, and true primitive piety; is acquainted with the power, and therefore holds fast the form, of godliness; obstinate as was my father in good, and not to be borne down by evil.
Thur., October 14th. I was taken up with the Clergy, in drawing up a recommendation of him to the Bishop of London, for orders. The Bishop had been formerly frightened from ordaining him, by the outcries of the Presbyterians. They were wise to keep a man out of the ministry, who had in a private capacity approved himself such a champion for the Church.
Sat., October 16th. My illness increasing, notwithstanding all the Doctors could do for me, I began seriously to consider my condition; and at my evening hour of retirement found benefit from Pascal's prayer in sickness.
Sun., October 17th. While I was talking at Mr. Chicheley's on spiritual religion, his wife observed that I seemed to have much the same way of thinking with Mr. Law. Glad I was and surprised to hear that good man mentioned; and confessed, all I knew of religion was through him. I found she was well acquainted with his Serious Call; and has one of the two that are in New-England. I borrowed it, and passed the evening in reading it to the family(Mr. Williams's, where I have been some days). His daughter and he seemed satisfied and affected.
Mon., October 18th. Many appointed days of embarkation had come and gone, without our embarking; but this was certainty to be the last. Accordingly Mr. Millar came very early to attend me to the ship. I took occasion to mention the book I had borrowed of his sister, Mrs. Chicheley, and read him the characters of Cognatus and Uranius. He liked them much, and promised he would carefully read the whole. Breakfast and dinner passed, but ['there was] no summons to go on board.
Tuesday and Wednesday I grew worse and worse; and on Thursday, October 21st, was forced to keep my chamber through pain. Appee came, and laboured all he could to dissuade me from the voyage, promising himself to deliver my letters and papers, and excuse me to Mr. Oglethorpe. Mr. Price, Williams, &c., joined him: but I put an end to their importunlty, by assuring them, nothing less than death should hinder my embarking.
Fri., October 22d. All things being at last in readiness, the wind providentially changed, and afforded me three days more to try experiments. Within that time I vomited, purged, bled, sweated, and took laudanum, which entirely drained me of the little strength I had left. It may be of use hereafter to remember Appee's behaviour at Boston. He gave out that his design in coming to Georgia had been to take charge of the people there: but finding Mr. Oglethorpe just such a genius as himself, he thought his own stay there was not so necessary, but he might safely quit the interest of the colony; which, had it not been to such a hand, he could never have prevailed upon himself to do: that at present he was unresolved where to bestow himself; only that it should be on that part of mankind which needed him the most: that he was going to England about matters of the last importance. Two or three letters of no moment he said, I carried; but all secret dispatches, to the Duke of Newcastle, and other Ministers of state, he was charged with. From the court of Great Britain he was to be sent Envoy to Spain. His money, a few hundred pounds, he had (in some companies)sent before him to England; in others, had turned it into silver, and freighted Indivine's ship.
Mon., October 25th. I waked surprisingly better, though not yet able to walk. This morning Dr. Graves came over from Charlestown to see me, gave me physic and advice; which he likewise left in writing; but would take no fee for either. The same civility I received from Dr. Gibbons, Dr. Gardener, and others. A little after Mr. Chicheley came, and brought me a summons to go aboard. Mr. Price drove me to the wharf, having called by the way on some of my new friends, from whom I have received all the instances of kindness in their power to show.
When we came to the wharf, the boat was not ready; so we were forced to walk half an hour in the open cold air. Mr. Chicheley helped me into the boat, and covered me up. In about two hours we reached the ship; and with Mr. Zouberbuhler, Mr. Appee, Mr. Cutler, and Mr. Brig, went on board. I lay down in the state-room, less fatigued with the passage than I expected.
Finding Appee wanted his state-room again, I quitted it, and accepted Mr. Cutlet's offer of his cabin. I had a tolerable night, though stripped of the conveniences I so long enjoyed on shore.
Tues., October 26th. I entered upon the Doctor's regimen, and quickly found the benefit. When five leagues onward on our voyage, the wind changing, forced us back again. In the evening it came fair, and by the next day carried us clear of all land.
Wed., October 27th. I began public prayers in the great cabin. We had seldom any present but the passengers. I had not yet strength to read the lesson, nor attention for any harder study than Clarendon's History. In the night I was much disquieted by the colic.
Thur., October 28th. The Captain warned me of a storm approaching. In the evening, at eight, it came, and rose higher and higher, after I thought it must have come to its strength; for! did not lose a moment of it, being obliged by the return of my flux to rise continually. At last the long-wished-for morning came, but brought no abatement of the storm. There was so prodigious a sea, that it quickly washed away our sheep, and half our hogs, and drowned most of our fowl. The ship had been new caulked at Boston; how carefully, it now appeared: for being deeply laden, the sea streamed in at the sides so plentifully, that it was as much as four men could do, by continual pumping, to keep her above water. I rose and lay down by turns, but could remain in no posture long; Strove vehemently to pray, but in vain; persisted in striving, yet still without effect. I prayed for power to pray, for faith in Jesus Christ, continually repeating his name, till I felt the virtue of it at last, and knew that I abode under the shadow of the Almighty.
It was now about three in the afternoon, and the storm at the height. I endeavoured to encourage poor Mr. Brig and Cutler, who were in the utmost agony of fear. I prayed with them, and for them, till four; at which time the ship made so much water, that the Captain, finding it otherwise impossible to save her from sinking, cut down the mizen mast. In this dreadful moment, I bless God, I found the comfort of hope; and such joy in finding I could hope, as the world can neither give nor take away. I had that conviction of the power of God, present with me, overruling my strongest passion, fear, and raising me above what I am by nature, as surpassed all rational evidence, and gave me a taste of the divine goodness.
At the same time I found myself constrained in spirit to bear witness to the truth, perhaps for the last time, before my poor friend Appee. I went to him, declared the difference between one that feareth God, and one that feareth him not; avowed my hope, not because I had attained, but because I had endeavoured it; and testified my expectation, if God should now require my soul of me, that he would receive it to his mercy.
My poor friend was convinced, but stupid; owned the happiness of the most imperfect Christian; an happiness he himself was a stranger to; and therefore, he said, all his refuge was, in time of danger, to persuade himself there was none. Mr. Cutler frequently calling upon God to have mercy upon his soul, Appee confessed he greatly envied him, as he had no manner of concern for his own. I advised him to pray. He answered, it was mocking God to begin praying in danger, when he had never done it ill safety. I only added, I then hoped, if God spared him now, he would immediately set himself about working out his salvation, which depended on the one condition of exchanging this world for the next. Mr. Zouberbuhler was present at this conference, and behaved as a Christian ought to do.
I returned to Mr. Brig and Mr. Cutler, and endeavoured from their fear to show them the want of religion, which was intended for our support on such occasions; urged them to resolve, if God saved them from this distress, that they would instantly, and entirely, give themselves up to Him.
The wind was still as high as ever, but the motion rather less violent since the cutting the mast; and we did not ship quite so much water. I laid me down, utterly exhausted; but my distemper was so increased, it would not suffer me to rest. Toward morning the sea heard and obeyed the divine voice, "Peace, be still!"
Sun., October 81st. My first business to-day (may it be the business of all my days !) was to offer up the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. Then we all joined in thanks for our deliverance. Most of the day I was on the bed, faint, and full of pain. At night I rose to prayers, but could not read them. I took a vomit, which gave me immediate ease, in which I passed the rest of the night.
Mon., November 1st. In the afternoon the wind rose, and promised a storm. I endeavoured to prepare myself and companions for it. It did not fail our expectation; but was not so violent as the last. The sea broke over us every ten minutes; and the ceaseless noise of the pumps either kept off sleep, or continually interrupted it.
Tues., November 2d. Still the poor sailors could have no respite; and as their strength abated, their murmurings increased. At night, when almost exhausted, they were relieved by a calm.
Wed., November 3d. In the evening the wind arose again, and with that the sea, which at ten broke in through one of the dark lights, and filled the great cabin. It was vain to look for rest in such a hurricane. I waited till two in the morning for its abatement; but it continued all the following day in full majesty.
On Friday, November 5th, we met a ship bound for Boston, which had been ten weeks on her passage from Bristol, and forced in the last storm to throw most of her cargo overboard. Being short of provisions, they desired a barrel of beef, which our Captain very readily sent them, (though at the expense of much time and pains,) and a cag of rum, to encourage their sailors to pump.
The wind came fair about midnight, but soon returned to the same quarter.
Mon., November 8th. My flux returned with great violence.
Tues., November 9th. The men came down, and declared they could keep the water under no longer; it gaining upon them every moment. Therefore they desired the Captain would be pleased to lighten the ship. He told them he knew what he had to do; bade them return to their pumping, and ordered others to take in all the sails but the mainsail. He stayed some time, (as he since told us, that he might not discourage us,) and then went up; and as we lay by stopped several leaks upon deck. This did considerable service; though it was still the constant business of four men to keep the ship from filling.
During this time I often threw myself upon the bed, seeking rest, but finding none. I asked of God to spare me a little, that I might recover strength; then cast my eye upon the word: "For my name's sake will I defer mine anger; and for my praise will I refrain for thee, that I cut thee not off." (Isai. xlviii. 9.) My soul immediately returned to its rest, and I no longer felt the continuance of the storm.
Wed., November 10th. Toward night it pleased God to abate the wind, so that I once more enjoyed the comfort of sleep.
Sat., November 13th. Never was a calm more seasonable than that which Providence this day sent us. The men were so harassed, they could work no longer; and the leaks increased so fast, that no less than their uninterrupted labour could have kept the vessel from foundering. All hands were now employed in stopping the leaks. The Captain himself told us he had been heartily frightened yesterday, with a danger he would now acquaint us with, since it was over: the total stoppage of one of the pumps. He further informed us, that he had stopped several openings in the sides of the ship, wide enough to lay his fingers in; so that he wondered the poor men had been able to keep her above water; and added, that the utmost he hoped for was, that they might hold out till they could reach some of the western islands. Just as the men had finished their work, .the calm gave place to a fair wind.
Tues., November 23d. I imparted to Mr. Zouberbuhler my intention of discarding Appee as soon as we landed. He told me he wondered I had not done it before; for he was such a man, so unprofitable, so pernicious, that he himself would not be bound to go another voyage with him for all the world; that he was so excessively vain, he thought himself admired wherever he came; and I was so fond of him, that, for all my talk of parting, I could not live without him. He added, he was so notorious a liar, that he had long since ceased to believe one word he said; and so utterly irreligious, that it was impossible to make a friend of him. He talked so well on this subject, that I was convinced he is not the mere man of honour Appee had represented him; but has some better principle than the dream of a shadow to depend upon.
At midnight I was waked by a great uproar. So prodigious a sea broke upon the ship, as filled it, and half-drowned the men upon deck; though by a particular provldence none were washed overboard. The swell lasted something longer than the rain, and high wind; and in the morning we had our fair wind again; being the twelfth day since it was first commanded to attend us.
In the afternoon we had another short but fierce blast, which brought the wind still fairer for our running into the Channel, whence all agreed we could not be far distant. At night I found Mr. Zouberbuhler alone, who, anticipating what I intended to say, addressed me very cordially, desiring my friendship and correspondence; complained of having been linked so long to Appee, that he was become dead like him, though he had had a fear of God, and some acquaintance with Him, till this fatal voyage. He was full of care and thought about his countrymen, whether he should bring them to New-England, or Georgia. In the latter, he said, he saw little encouragement for true piety, (which many of his poor Swiss were yet possessed of,) and feared if they were settled there, they would be corrupted, like the miserable Purlsburgers. He told me, Appee had proffered, if his Spanish embassy failed, to attend him to Switzerland; but he would never more trust such a man near him, or his people: such an abominable liar, scoundrel, and thief; one who had been forced to fty his country and the pursuit of justice, for robbing his father of three hundred guineas.
A fair account of my friend Appee,--and of the twenty-four pounds I have lent him ! That a Dutchman should cheat me is nothing strange: but how did he evade the wary eye of Mr. Oglethorpe Happy Miss Bovey, to be delivered by death from such a man!
On Thursday night our wind failed us. When it was first sent, we had not, in three weeks' sailing, reached the banks of Newfoundland, which is a third part of our way: but this fortnight has almost brought us home. The next day I was perfectly satisfied in the wind's turning against us.
Sat., November 27th. Towards the evening it came fair as we could wish. Ecce ireruin Crispinus! Mr. Zouberbuhler came to me, full of abhorrence. "That Appee," said he, "is a very devil, made up of falseness and lies! He is ever railing against you, behind your back, to the Captain and passengers, ridiculing the prayers, &c. He tells the Captain, (as he did everybody at Boston,) that you are so ignorant, Mr. Oglethorpe was forced to send him to take care of you. At Charlestown he declared, in all companies, he was come with full powers to put an end to the dispute between them and Georgia. Last night I overheard him giving a blessed account of you to Mr. Brig. As soon as ever I come to land I shall cast him off, and advise you to do the same: for while you suffer him near you, he will not fail to do you all the mischief he can."
Mon., November 29th. We were waked between six and seven by the Captain crying out, "Land !" It was the Lizard-Point, about a league distant. What wind there was, it was for us. I felt thankful for the divine mercies. While I was walking upon deck, Appee came up to me, metuens tale votum ereptum a faucibus; began with many professions of friendship, hoped all little misunderstandings would be forgot; fell into familiar discourse, as formerly; was sure I should never return to Georgia; where Mr. Oglethorpe would allow none but his creatures, or such as were some way subservient to his glory: "which, take my word for it," said he, "is the principle of all his actions, as well as mine. Christianity he has about as much as myself. I have given him some unanswerable reasons against it." He was undetermined where to spend the next year, but resolved to spend it all in quest of pleasure and glory,--and confident I was just of his mind.
Wed., December lat. The first thing I heard at day-break was the Captain in an outrageous passion; for the ship, which, according to the course he had ordered, ought to have been near the coast of France, was, through the carelessness of the Mate, just upon the land at Shoreham. He told me, that had not the day broke out as it did, the ship must have run aground; and then all the art of man could not have saved her; for we were land-locked on three sides, and had the wind right astern: so that it was with the utmost difficult),, and not till the afternoon, that we got clear. This lost us a day; for by the evening we should have reached the Downs.
Appee took me aside once more, to try his skill upon me; besought me not to alter my behaviour toward him when we should come to land; denied, as ever he hoped for salvation, that he had ever spoke or wrote disrespectfully of me; detested the thought of such treachery, with so many horrid imprecations, as I believed even a Dutchman would have trembled at. The burden of all was, John Bull and Nicholas Frog were too dear friends ever to think of parting. But John Bull begged to be excused. Though I stood in admiration of his parts, I did not choose they should be any longer exercised on me. In vain did he resume our lodging together. I was deaf on that ear, and shifted the discourse, which he still brought back again. "Well, my dear friend, wherever you are," said he, "I will take a lodging next door."
Thur., December 2d. By four in the afternoon we came within sight of Beachy-Head; but the wind freshening, by nine we found ourselves almost unawares over against Dover. We fired a gun for a pilot, but none would come to us. We fell down into the Downs, over against Deal, and fired two more. The Captain gave us warning that he expected a pilot in an hour or two, at the farthest. I returned thanks to God for bringing us to the haven where we would be; got my few things in readiness, and laid me down, without disquiet or impatience for two or three hours.
FRIDAY, December 3d, 1736. At six the pilot came on board. It was with much difficulty we got down into his boat. The sea was so rough, that nothing less than our late series of deliverances could have supported our confidence. In half an hour we reached the shore. I knelt down, and blessed the Hand that had conducted me through such inextricable mazes; and desired I might give up my country again to God, when He should require.
Zouberbuhler appeared full of gratitude to God, and affection to me. We all adjourned to an inn. Zouberbuhler and I walked to bespeak a coach. I joined with the passengers in an hearty thanksgiving for our safe arrival.
Between ten and eleven we set out in the coach; and by three reached Canterbury; and by ten Sittingbourne. I had intended to lie with Zouberbuhler; but upon an intimation from him, went and lay with Appee, to hinder his having a different kind of bedfellow.
Sat., December 4th. Appee was so very grievous to us, that not only I, but all the passengers, resolved this should be the last day of their acquaintance. At six in the evening we came safe to London. I immediately took coach for Charles Rivington's, leaving my friend Appee, who promised to come next day, and pay me what he owed me.
My namesake was much rejoiced to see me, and gave me great cause of rejoicing by his account of our Oxford friends.
Sun., December 5th. I received comfort with the sacrament at St. Paul's; and from thence went to Mr. Towers, who received me with great affection; and heartily congratulated me on my arrival, which my friends had long despaired of. He told me the agreeable news of Mr. Oglethorpe's being expected daily.
The next I waited upon was good old Sir John Philips, who received me as one alive from the dead. Here I heard a most blessed account of our friends at Oxford; their increase, both in zeal and number. I then hastened to Mr. Vernon, to deliver my letters. He received me very affectionately, and pressed me to live with him during my stay in London.
While we were talking, young Hutton called, having traced me thither, in order to carry me home with him. We took coach for my good old friend and host, his father. I entered with fear and trembling. My reception was such as I expected from a family that entirely loved me, but had given me over for dead, and bewailed me as their own child. A Captain had told them that fifty per cent. assurance had been refused for Indivine's ship; and a report was spread abroad that she had been seen sink to the bottom.
The motion of the stage and hackney coaches occasioned the return of my flux, which prevents my preaching or talking to my admirers. Many such I have gained by Mr. Ingham's magnificent Journal. My brother's Journal, too, the last I hope will ever be sent hither,) is in every one's hands. Libeaat modo vivere, fient, Fient ista palam, cupient et in acta referri.
Mon., December 6th. I spent an hour at my uncle's, equally welcome and unexpected. They informed me my brother Hall was gone to a curacy, very melancholy, and impatient at the mention of Georgia; and that my sister Kezzy was gone to live with him. Serpentes avibus gemlnentur, tigribus agnae.
I waited upon Mr. Hutchinson, who soon fell upon the controverted points. Here also I had an invitation to make his house my home.
Tues., December 7th. I called in the morning on Charles Rivington, who gave me letters and a Journal from my brother in Georgia. After leaving my Secretary's book with Mr. Towers, I waited upon the Bishop of London.
In the ante-chamber I began his Journal, and read it through without either surprise or impatience. His dropping my fatal letter, I hope will convince him of what I never could,--his own great carelessness; and the sufferings that brought upon him, of his inimitable blindness. His simplicity in telling what and who were meant by the two Greek words, was "outdoing his own outdoings." Surely all this will be sufficient to teach him a little of the wisdom of the serpent, of which he seems as utterly void, as his dear friend Mrs. H. is of the innocency of the dove.
In the midst of these reflections I was called in, to deliver my letters. His Lordship desired me to come next morning, having much to say to me. I drove to Colonel Bladen, who was from home: then to Mr. Pendarvis's, where we passed an agreeable hour, in mutual accounts of our friends in England and America.
I returned to Mr. Hutton, where Dr. Hales, one of our Trustees, came to see me. Much discourse we had of Georgia, particularly of Miss Bovey's death, and my brother's persecutions among that stiff-necked people. He seems a truly pious, humble Christian, full of zeal for God, and love to man.
Wed., December 8th. I waited on Colonel Bladen; and then on the Bishop, who asked abundance of curious questions, not worth remembering.
In the evening I obeyed a summons from my Lord Egmont, and gave him, as I did all I came to the speech of, a true account of the case between Georgia and Carolina.
Thur., December 9th. I called on Mr. Towers, who desired me by all means to go home, and keep there, whoever sent for me; promising, if he had any business, he would come to me. I took his advice, and kept my chamber some days, which, with Dr. Cockburn's electuary, almost perfectly recovered me.
Sat., December 11th. Mr. Brig and Cutler called, and informed me Captain Corney was heartily frightened by hearing on all sides Appee's real character; that he gave over for lost the money he had lent him, as well as that for passage and provisions.
Contrary to my Doctor's advice, I ventured out, Sunday, December 12th, to the sacrament in Duke-street. Mrs. Rhodes challenged me after the service with, "I am glad to see you. I hope you go back again to Georgia."
In the evening a multitude came, and went; most to inquire of their friends or relations in Georgia. I sent them away advocates for the colony.
Wed., December 15th. About noon I waited upon the Trustees, at the office. It put me past all patience to hear they were reading Mr. Ingham's and my brother's Journals. I was called in, and delivered my letters for the Trustees. Lord Carpenter, being in the chair, desired me to speak that all the gentlemen might hear me. Mr. Towers interposed, and told them I was so weakened by my illness, that I could not speak aloud; and desired me to deliver my papers one by one, to be read by Mr. Virelst. At dinner they fell into discourse about the Missioners, whom as yet they mightily commend, and wish for more of them; as that their Journals might be forthwith printed, that the world might receive the benefit of their labours.
Thur., December 16th. I was extremely sick in the night, and by morning my flux returned.
Sat., December 18th. I began my twenty-seventh year in a murmuring, discontented spirit; reading over and over the third of Job.
Tues., December 21st. I dined at my uncle's, who bestowed abundance of wit on my brother, and his apostolical project. He told me, the French, if they had any remarkably dull fellow among them, sent him to convert the Indians. I checked his eloquence by those lines of my brother :-- "To distant realms the' Apostle need not roam, Darkness, alas! and Heathens are at home."
He made no reply; and I heard no more of my brother's apostleship.
Wed., December 22d. I received a letter from Mr. Whitefield, offering himself to go to Georgia.
Thur., December 23d. I had a long conference with Lord Fitzwalter concerning Georgia. In the afternoon my old Captain's owners came to desire me to testify the treatment I had received, for which reason I would not proceed [to England] with Indivine. This I promised with Zouberbuhler, if there should be occasion.
Sun., December 26th. I called upon my Doctor, and was well chid for so doing. He told me that if I had not had a constitution of iron, I could not have held out so long; that he could do nothing for me, unless I would keep my chamber; through want of which I had undone all he had been doing, and had all to begin anew.
Wed., December 29th. I called on Zouberbuhler, who gave me the poor Purlsburgers' case to read; an eternal monument of Carolina's infamous breach of faith. Soon after Mr. Lynn, his landlord, came in, and entertained us with some of Mr. Appee's adventures; who, when he came from Surinam, where he had gained away a plantation his father gave him, was reduced to the last extremity, and taken in, naked and starving, by one Mr. Legg, who was quickly forced to turn him out again, for offering violence to a lady in her family. Cedite Germani latrones, cedite Galli.
He has not studied Gil Bias for nothing (his inseparable companion throughout our voyage). As to his boasts, a specimen Mr. Lynn helped me to, may serve for all. "I wish that dear man, Mr. Oglethorpe, would return. I am impatient to see him: but he is even with me. How would he throw open his arms to embrace me! We were always like two brothers. He could never be without me.
We were constant bedfellows. Many an expedition have we made together; though, in faith, I had work enough of it as his Secretary. What belonged to one, belonged to the other. He took a fancy to a gold watch of mine. I gave it him that instant. It cost me indeed twenty guineas; but that is a trifle between friends."
Thur., December 30th. I waited upon the Bishop of London for some papers I had left with him, concerning the state of the colony. Some effect they seemed to have had; for he appeared less reserved than I have ever seen him. I took the opportunity to recommend Mr. Chicheley for orders; and he said, "He should give in his name to the Society, in the list of Missionaries."