The Journal of Charles Wesley

January 4 - April 28, 1745

FRIDAY, January 4th, 1745. All were melted into gracious tears at the sacrament. I heard of one who had lately received the seal of forgiveness under me, when I was more than usually dead. I expounded John i. at Short's-gardens, and the power of the Lord was present: our old friend Keen was broken to pieces by it.

Sun., January 13th. I visited a sister, who walks through the valley of the shadow of death, and fears no evil. I tasted the sweet consolation and blessedness of tears. I have found these few last days more comfort, both in preaching and prayer, than for some years. Is not our God a very present help in time of trouble?

In much distress at the altar, I cast mine eye on that word, "It is good for me to have been in trouble." My heart was full of prayer. At last I broke out into tears and strong cries, and all with me. It was indeed a glorious time of visitation.

Sat., January 19th. I prayed with our brother Grey, ready for the Bridegroom, and rejoicing in hope of a speedy dissolution. I preached at the chapel, on, "Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the Lord ;" and found, both in the word, and in prayer, and at the altar, the double blessing which now continually attends us.

Sat., January 26th. Mr. Erskine came to me at Short's-gardens with a message which the Bishop of London had sent to L. H.,* "that, if I would come to him, and declare my innocency, touching the scandals, and take the sacrament upon it, he would desire no farther satisfaction, but himself clear me." I immediately consented, and sent my brother advice of it.

[* Probably Lady Huntingdon.--EDIT]

Sun., January 27th. I paid my last visit to our poor unstable brother Cowper; who is now so holy in Christ, as to say, "I renounce the doctrine which your brother preaches, and trample it under my feet, as a doctrine of devils."

I discoursed on, "These are they that came out of great tribulation." Both by the word and at the sacrament the Lord answered for himself.

I buried a sister, who departed in the Lord. I called the multitude at the Foundery, "Come, for all things are now ready." I met the bands; and a solemn, mournful assemly it was. I could speak, sing, pray for nothing but death. We mixed our tears and souls together in that love which death cannot violate.

Fri., February 1st. At our watchnight I described the new Jerusalem; (Rev. xxi. ;) and great was our rejoicing before the Lord.

Sun., February 3d. At the sacrament and among the bands I was enabled to pour out my soul in prayer, and carried them all with me to the throne of grace.

Sun., February 10th. I received the never-failing blessing at the sacrament. Our prayer, after it, always opens heaven.

Sun., February 17th. I was strengthened by a zealous Quaker, who informed me he had received the Spirit of adoption in hearing me .a year ago, and has walked in the light from that time to this.

Wed., February 20th. In asking, st the chapel, "Is there no balm in Gilead?" I found, with many others, that there was; and a good Physician too, whose power was even then present to heal.

Sun., February 24th. We had the spirit of prayer in the sacrament, as usual. The word at night had great effect. My subject was, the returning prodigal.

Tues., February 26th. I gave the sacrament to one on Saffron-hill; anti found faith that the Lord was at. work. Going down, they asked me to see another dying in the room below. As I entered, I heard her make confession of the faith which she received that moment, as she had told those about her she should; and that she could not die in peace till she saw me. She was full of triumphant joy, and said to me, "I am going to paradise: it will not be long before you follow me." My soul was filled with her consolation.

Sat., March 2d. At the chapel I expounded, "Thus saith the high and lofty One, that inhabiteth eternity ;" and He covered us with a covering of his Spirit.

Sun., March 3d. Our hearts were bowed down before the Lord, both in the word and sacrament.

Sat., March 9th. I dined at our brother Arvin's, just after his wife had taken her flight to paradise.

Sun., March 10th. I expounded the woman of Canaan; and was carried out after the sacrament in strong intercession for my departed friends. One of them was there, unknown to me, but went out before my prayer.

Wed., March 13th. God gave me strong words at the chapel, against the Antinomian delusion.

Sat., March 16th. I spake with one of the Society, lately a Papist, who is much haunted by her old friends, especially her confessor, who thunders out anathemas against her; and threatens to burn me,--if he could catch me at Rome. I sent my respects to the gentleman, and offered to talk with him before her, at my own lodgings, or wherever he pleased; but received no answer.

Thur., March 21st. I expounded Isal. xxxv. Many of our brethren from the Tabernacle were present. Our Lord did not send us empty away; but applied the word of his grace to our hearts.

Sun. evening, March 24th. I set out for Bristol with T. Butts. We lodged on Monday night in Newbury; on Tuesday, March 26th, came to Mrs. Gotley's, at Avon, and the next day to Bristol.

My subject was, "Thy sun shall no more go down by day," &c. The Lord sanctified our meeting; and we were comforted by our mutual faith.

Sun., March 31st. At five I preached in the room; at eight in Kingswood, on the new Jerusalem. I administered the sacrament to all the Society; and the God, the consolation of Israel, visited us. The whole congregation were moved to cry after him, either through sorrow or through joy.

I rode to Conham. Mr. Graves read prayers in Mr. Wane's chapel. I bade them "lift up the hands that hung down, and strengthen the feeble knees." The word did not return void. I walked back to the colliers, and exhorted them to adorn the Gospel; then to Baptist-mills, where the children of the devil fled before the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. At our love-feast in Bristol, I spoke of the fruits of faith, in strong scriptural words. Sarah Goslin, the mother of our Antinomians, was forced to fly for her life. It was a blessed opportunity. The Lord mightily confirmed his word; and thereby ministered his consolations.

Wed., April 3d. I preached at Wrexal, and found the bread I had cast upon the water, after many days. Several of my old hearers from Bradford were present. One caught hold of me, and cried, "Blessed be the day that ever I saw your face. This was the man, under God, that first opened my eyes." Another (Mrs. Taylor) now declared, she had received forgiveness in hearing me five years ago. I preached Christ crucified; and we rejoiced as in the days that are past. I returned, with joy and comfort, to Bath, and exhorted them, "Hold fast that ye have already till I come."

Thur., April 4th. I rode to Coleford, a place of colliers, lately discovered; and preached in the church-yard, on a tomb-stone. The church would not have contained a quarter of the congregation. I pointed them to "the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world." The poor people followed me to Mr. Flower's, where we wrestled two or three hours in prayer, and would not let Him go, except He blessed us.

Fri., April 5th. I read prayers and preached in the church, crowded within and without. Many followed me to Chilcompton. There I called, on above a thousand gasping souls, "Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters." I began again and again, after I had, as I thought, concluded.

I returned to Bristol; was informed that one, lately of our Society, has declared, he will "make affidavit he himself saw my brother administer extreme unction to a woman, and give her a wafer, and say, that was her passport to heaven." Sun., April 7th. I found the great blessing after the sacrament, an ordinance which God always magnifies, and honours with his special presence. I prayed by our sister Rogers, just on the wing for paradise. It was a solemn season at the Society, while I spake of death, and the glory which shall follow.

Tues., April 9th. I rode to town, and preached at the Foundery, with an enlarged heart, "Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon."

Fri., April 12th. At the chapel, all the congregation looked upon Him they have pierced, and mourned.

Easter-day, April 14th. With the word, the Spirit of Him that raised Jesus from the dead came mightily upon us. For more than half an hour He cried in our hearts. At the sacrament, also, which the whole Society partook of, we all found, more or less, the power of his resurrection. So again at our love-feast, we rejoiced together, and felt that the Lord was risen indeed.

Tues., April 16th. I baptized a woman among the Leaders; who received the justifying baptismal grace.

We kept the octave, communicating every day; and the Lord never sent us away without a blessing.

Sat., April 20th. The power of the Highest overshadowed us, when met in the evening to bewail our sins against light, and pray for a fresh pardon. Most of this week I have spent in confirming the wavering; and God hath blessed me in my deed.

Sun., April 21st. While I was declaring, "This is he that came by water and by blood," the Spirit bore strong witness with many hearts. One testified her then receiving the atonement. At the sacrament we prayed in faith, that the sins of the revolting children might be retained, that is, that, while the guilt and power lasted, the misery might last, and they might not be suffered to soothe themselves with a fancied happiness.* The Lord was with us in the great power of his love.

The cloud stayed upon us when met in band; and they received my solemn warning of the approaching judgments.

[* The same sentiment Mr. Charles Wesley expressed in the following stanzas :-- "O wouldst thou break the fatal snare Of carnal self-security, And let them feel the wrath they bear, And let them groan their want of thee, Robb'd of their false pernicious peace, Stripp'd of their fancied righteousness. "Long as the guilt of sin shall lust, Them in its misery detain; Hold their licentious spirits fast, Bind them with their own nature's chain, Nor ever let the wanderers rest, Till lodged again in Jesu's Breast." --EDIT.]

Mon., April 22d. I gave the sacrament yesterday to two prisoners of hope; and twice to-day, to two dying believers, who can never die.

Wed., April 24th. I recovered one out of the paw of the Antinomian lion. This whole week I have gone on treading him under my feet, through the power of the serpent-bruiser.

Sun., April 28th. I expounded Matt. xxv., that flail of Antinomianism.

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